ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
