your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
