We're like a lot better than the average bears
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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