god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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