if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
