I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
being pregnant is like rehab
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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