he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
