Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize