I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
