the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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