hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
