this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
so much tequila, so little girl.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
