I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I intend to get homeless drunk
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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