im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
