Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
