Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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