Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
