Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
