im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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