never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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