all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
