I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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