I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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