You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My bed smells like the plague
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
