Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
