if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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