let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
