If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
