I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
