hotel room ftw
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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