In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
