oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
