his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
