I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
