i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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