Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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