you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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