Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I seem to have left my pride at pride
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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