Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
