She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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