Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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