What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
