I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
