he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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