exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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