Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
