so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
