Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
