Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
