idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
